How many of you have heard, "you can't do that, you aren't..." or "you have to do this and then you can have that."? All of the language we use in this world centers around waiting until we are... what? Enough? Perfect? Thriving? Rich? Married? This theory would suggest that we weren't actually born with all the tools we require in order to create our lives. Now, ask yourself, is that true? Were you truly not assembled with all parts and batteries included? If you feel that way, I get it, what would it mean if the answer wasn't, you know, out there? And if you have just been told and convinced by the world around you that you are always one accessory away from being complete, even though there always seems to be another accessory, then maybe now is the time ask: Who, what, where, when, why am I waiting for?
BE ADVISED: The Following Content is Based on My Experience
Being a therapist my business thrives on people who have come to believe that there is something wrong with them, and they cannot begin living until they fix this thing that is wrong. I can relate, in my own therapy journey if I didn't have a problem I would create it. My favorite go to problem? My relationships. My second favorite problem? not doing enough... or maybe my mother, or maybe that 10 minutes of depression I felt during the week. No matter if it was a good day or even just...a day, I would walk in, sit down, and begin sweeping the search light for any whif of a problem, inconvenience, or "maladaptive" pattern to zero in on and begin the scrutiny. Sound familiar?
In a recent conversation with a client I began discussing something that I would like to share with all of you, I would like to credit that this tool came to me by way of a very dear friend:
Imagine you are looking at a Menu of problems and judgments, you are convinced this is the only menu available, this is all you will ever have, it is either a problem sandwhich or nothing at all. Then you see other people choosing from another menu. Their menu has choice, change, and possibilities on it and their food looks freaking amazing! But you are convinced that you can only order from the menu of problems and judgments until you don't have any problems. This is where a lot of us function from. I cannot start to have the future I want until I no longer have the pesky past in the way. So, are you stuck ordering your problems for the rest of your life? Or could you actually begin to order off the other menu?
When you think that you cannot choose something until you are... whatever it is you think you need to be in order to get the life you want; here is one teeny tiny tool that you can use to begin to add some possibility to your life.
1) CHOOSE ANYTHING off the other menu!
When you wander over to the menu of your future pick one thing on it and choose it! What for? You start to put yourself into action. When you make a choice it begins to eliminate the distance between you and your future. It starts to dissolve the myth that in order to create a future you must first be without problems.
2) BE AWARE of what shows up!
When you start to choose from the menu you would actually like as your life and living look around and see what is showing up in your life. An experience that I had was choosing a last minute trip to Arizona. It was a big ticket item on my menu of possibilities, and as soon as I chose it, my entire perspective about what was available to order on my menu shifted.
3) Do what works for you. I know, as a therapist I am supposed to be "the expert", but here's the deal, choice is something that only you can do for you. Choose to whatever degree you are comfortable and Celebrate your choice! Know that, no matter what happens you can choose again, and again, and again.
What if you didn't have to wait to be without problems in order to create the life and living you have been asking for?
What is one thing you choose today that would allow you to start to create your future right away?